CAAAAMP!

Judging from the title, you'd be dumb to not know that this post is entirely on a camp that i just got back from, say...2 days ago? Yeap. It was le GB camp! Being in the GB, i've had to attend camps EVERY YEAR without fail or my promotion would be delayed. Thank God i'm already staff sergeant (HEH) and this camp was say, 10% optional for me but since its the last camp i'm gonna attend with my batch, why not go for it? So yeah I was whining, and contemplating to sprain my ankle on purpose the day/night before camp because it was reallyyyyyy sian. Sian until cannot sian. But i still woke up the next day at 6.30am and dutifully put on my uniform and grabbed my camp bags and reported to campsite (church) at 7.45am SHARP. -____-

The camp went better than i expected it to be because most of the time, we-the sec4s-were doing our own thing cos the officers were always busy with the juniors. And by that, I also mean the sec3s. Soo, while they were doing things like DRILLS, we were slacking around like a boss, drinking cold water while they were standing under the sun AFTER A HIKE. >:D We didn't have any meal duties so that means no rushing during meal times to cleanup afterward, or rush down from any activities to prepare the food and have our mealtime reduced. (I'm a really slow eater....) AND we didn't have to squeeze and rush like mad dogs during bathing time cos we get to bathe later! Although suffered the aftermath of wind + cold water.... but yeah, really enjoyed my time this year. Perks of being a senior. Nyeheheh.

Day1: Touch Rugby. Glaring sun, thus the pose. (CLARE Y SO CUTE)

 

Day1(night): Teambuilding. What I'm holding actually has an egg in it. Dropped if from 4th floor and NO CRACKS. Team spirit: PASS

 

 

Day2: Just got back from hike (:

 Yup. Summary of my first 2days with the pics i really liked. (: nothing much on 3rd day though. Gonna attend another camp on friday! Its twinneh's church camp. Got a feeling I'll be dead tired by the end of this week...but oh wells, its the holidays! I should do myself some justice! Play hard, work hard. Right..?

#friends #food #fun

Yesterday was Mr Tham's solemnisation. Being one of the teachers i really admire and look up to, friends (R.O.A), clique decided to go to his big day. Went after church, met up with le twinz to get him a card and met up with the rest of the group later on.

Mr Tham's really sweet because after they said all the "I Dos", he sang a song to his wife, which was really sweet. Could see he was nervous but, it was cool. The hotel was damn high-class too. :O after the solemnisation ended, went to clarke quay to meet Rachel and Gek Ting for dinner.

Had initially decided on a sushi buffet but it was a bloody $31.00++ -_-. Hell to the no would i spend that much on a meal. I mean, it is an all you can eat buffet but there's no way i can eat up to over $31.00! So we walked around and decided on something else instead. But it was all good in the end.

After a filled tummy, decided to walk by the river (which is bloody nice btw,) and I got fascinated by all the lights. Took photos, and we went down to the pub areas too. The pubs had really nice and bright lighting and some shops had tables outside with little candles in candle holders for people to dine there. So pretty. Prolly sound like a kid right now but thats only because I haven't been to such places before! And I finally know how shisha (did i spell it right?) smells like. Didn't know that was shisha till Aloy told us.
"Can you smell that sweet fruity smell?"
"Yeah, is someone eating sweets?"
"No lah that's shisha. See those pipe thingy?"

OHH so thats shisha.

Took more photos of the lights and decos and there was a little stall that sells masks and jewellry. The masks were the ones that caught my eye. They were so pretty I wish i could take a photo of it. But photography wasn't allowed so....

It was really nice to spend a sunday night with the people I love and not receving any "Where are you now?" or "What time are you coming home?" messages and phonecalls from ze parents really made it even better. I know that I have a curfew and its really not safe for a tiny person like me to be walking around cos its not safe. So i try not to come home after 11. AND i texted le momz when I was on my way home. (: #responsible. Now that everyone's working and there's no more school, its really difficult to meet up with friends. Even with whatsapp and instant messaging, its not quite the same anymore.

All in all, it was a really nice night. (':

(/^o^)/

So nice!

Taking A Breather...

National exams finally over, got a part time job! Its kinda weird to not mug for anything anymore. The feeling of waking up every morning and plan a timetable for the subjects that has to be done mentally is gone and huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Going to poly next year means everything to me. I don't think I can make it for the big O's. I really don't have that kind of energy to keep me going anymore. Or maybe its because I'm getting too used to this free&easy lifestyle?

Class chalet tmr. Can't wait. Just a few thingy bothering me right now. Things like me being too big a coward to face my own fears and get over my paranoia. Its like this fear is eating me up from the inside, slowly devouring my flesh and crunching my bones, sucking me dry.

People write about how they swoon over boys and how boys just sweep em off their feet. But I wonder if any guy ever scared a girl to an extend she builds a wall around her to not let anyone in and to not let herself out? The enitre daryl thing bugged me for more than a year and I always get freaked out by people that show the tiniest resemblance to his personality. And then I shun that poor lad and end up hurting him. Close friends can be guys too but it really sucks when I realised that I've actually hurt the people that care a lot about me. And why? Because I can't face my fear. Because I'm too weak to. Because I got hurt.

Such a coward.

Tmr is the class chalet and I don't want to ruin it for everyone because the boy I hurt due to my selfishness is going to be there. And he is going to want answers. Answers that I cannot give because I don't know what to say. I may make this sound like a big deal and maybe a month or two I re-read this and flinch because I was so bloody stupid and immature. But I just feel like I have to get this off my chest and what better way to do so than to do it here? I really didn't mean for this to happen, everything just spiralled out of control.

Sometimes I look at the things I've done, and ask myself 'how much shit have I gotten myself into?' and the answer to that is: Enough to bury me alive. Maybe one day I can't take all this shit and put a bullet through my skull, someone will chance upon this and see why I had to what I did.

MIA

Hey dear blog, sorry to have gone MIA for such a long time! So many thing's been happening and of course, with the national exams just round the corner, I honestly didn't have time to update. -blows dust-

Okay, first up, my 16th birthday was celebrated with my friends and they gave me a huge bag of presents and a helium filled balloon. Had to take the train home that day so it was pretty awkward. Didn't have time to take photos, but I practically got everything I liked. Aww.. ('; love my bbygirls so much.

And last Friday, got back my chinese O level results. Got a A2 for my written paper and a distinction for my oral and listening. Yay! The scary part? I dreamt that I got such grades! Apparently my A2 isn't good enough for the school so I do need to retake it at the end of the year. An A1 is only 5 marks more that an A2. So why not?

Thats all for now, fucking need a shopping spree BECAUSE THE SCHOOL FINALLY HAS PROM!

Hehe. kaaaayyy

BREATHE

Hai, how's everybardee doing so far? So many things going on now. Oh gosh. Ended my Preliminary Examination 1 awhile back. So that probably explains the hiatus. THAT and I think I must've forgotten about this site for awhile. Hohoho. Anyway, last week (or was it before that..) I sat for my O Levels Chinese Oral. Oh manzxc, I screwed up big time. I kept stammering, I couldn't think of replies fast enough, couldn't really understand my examiner's questions. And all my answers that I thought of in my head were in English so I had a mini panic attack trying to translate all the words. Hmmm.... But I've decided to put all that behind my and just move forward.

So after our prelims, which ended earlier than majority of the cohort, my class had 2 days off of school! Monday was a public holiday and there was no school for us on Tuesday. (WHEE) So I spent my Monday at home doing art and watched Spiderman with le family. (OMG, Andrew Garfield makes me melt) and went to celebrate Cheryl Lim's birthday on Tuesday.

Oh mannnn, talking about that, it was an epic day. We had initially planned the outing on Monday but then CL couldn't make it so we shifted it to the next day. Thenthen, we had planned to fly kites! But when I woke up that morning, it was gloomy and dark. WTF. Disappointing much. So we changed the plan to renting movies and chilling at Hay's. Watched Vampire Suck and The Cat (A Korean horror show) I'd say, my clique is weird. Our tastes in music, books, movies and clothes are different. I'm more of an anti-chick flick/romance, action/horror/thrill (for movies), anti-laces (for clothes), anti-romance (for books) kinda girl. I'm more of a action/horror/thrill/spikes/skulls/rock/zombie kinda person. But my clique tend to be the opposite. Then there are a few of us that are neutral. So, imagine the scene of 5 of us deciding on a movie to watch. It was pretty hilarious.

Today's Eileen's birthday, went all over Nex to get the stuffs and surprised her after orals. Feel really guilty for forgetting her birthday for 2 years straight. (IKR, what kind of friends are we...) I srsly hope she likes today's surprise! Anyway, hope you guys are okay. (Are you guys even human??)

xoxox

Only Human

Y'know that kinda feeling when you're really expecting something and then suddenly the plan changes and you just lose that something that you've been looking forward to? That kind of feeling where you literally feel your heart sink and hit rock bottom and you just wanna find a comfy corner to just suck it all up.

I hate that. I hate anticipating for something and I know that I can't help but to do that sometimes. Like, that kind of disappointment just, pisses the hell out of you. Urgh. I don't know why but I'm feeling this way over something minor. Something really, really tiny. But I guess because I just don't have the time to do the things I like to do anymore, any chance to do something exciting (even if its just a trip to the grocery shop) would really be the highlight of my day. And I dunno, if there were to be a change of plans, I'd just, I dunno, feel really really terrible. #thingsihate

I'm not perfect, I'm no saint, I can be really unreasonable at times. The things that I get angry over might be trivial to you guys. But hey, I'm only human right?

Frankly speaking, if I were to make a list of all the things that I hate, then, its gonna be longer than the Great Wall Of China, for sure. But seriously, I can't stand it when people do this:
"OMGOMGOMG GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOUU!!"
"WHAT WHAT WHAT??"
"Uh...hmm..nothing/y'know what? Nevermind."

Like, #dafuq? Don't make the matter sound so important in the first place when all you're going to do is waste my energy thinking about the many thousand worst-case scenarios! I hate it, seriously. This has to be the top few of #thingsihate. Some people might find it funny but, I DON'T, dammit. Urgh, feeling so pissed right now. Might just go on a verbal rampage on the next person that pushes the wrong buttons. Or some people would just go all "OMG I FOUND OUT SOMETHING SURPRISING!" and then when you ask them what it is, they tell you shit like "Ahhh, nevermind, I'm afraid it'll affect your mood." C'mon, don't be a coward, just tell me straight up to my bloody face.

I mean, c'mon. You make the thing sound so serious and then you just brush it off with a "Oh, nevermind..." statement. Hello, am I supposed to take you seriously ever again?! I'm not acting this way because I'm pissed. Joyous mood or not, I hate it when people do such things to me.

If you didn't take it seriously in the first place, then maybe I never will take you seriously ever again.

Happy Birthday Jing Hui!

Today, I had prolly one of the greatest day so far this week. (: Had some really bad days but today, an outing with all of my girls just made me feel so much better and so much more blessed. (':

Had a mundane morning and met up with the girls at Farrer Park at 5. But I volunteered to get the cake and thus I had to go early. Met up with Cheryl Lim at Serangoon and bounced to and fro from the various bakeries to get the cake. We almost got a durian cake! But in the end we got a pink strawberry cake for the birthday girl although all the other chocolate cakes looked goooood. (;

Before I saw CL, there was this guy walking his dog in Serangoon Central and OHMIGAWD, it was a big fluffy dog! I do mean big, and the fur was like, it made the dog look twice the size! That fluffy! And cos it was so black, I didn't have the chance to see its face. Only the pink tongue sticking out!

Bought the cake, and headed down to FP to meet the girls. Had Astons for dinner. The food was yumz. I had a Hickory BBQ Chicken with fries and salad as side dishes. YUMMZ. After dinner, we started to talk about stupid things. I like tonight. Enough of words, let le pictures do the talking. (;

My dinner- Hickory BBQ Chicken with salad & fries for sides. YUMMZ.

Ze cakee

Birthday girl. (':

<3

Pretty fountain.

Tonight was good. Gonna wake up early tmr for bible studies and worship practice afterwards.

I'm gonna try and be more positive from now.

Untitled

So how's everyone been? I've been having some pretty bad days recently. But I'm trying hard not to let it affect my mood. Seriously hate it when adults practically yell their heads off at you without giving you a chance to explain. And when you tell them, they either think you're talking back, or, just be totally unreasonable. And I hate how sometimes my parents have zero trust in me. What? Like I'm not trustworthy? Like sometimes, you get so angry, you tear up and get your eyes all red and swollen and then you'll feel so sleepy for the rest of the day. Am I the only one feeling this way??

When shit happens, I know I've got these bunch of really lovely people behind me. Just being around them sometimes takes my mind off the things that's really bothering me. And I thank God so much for having these people in my life. They've been such a dear to me.

Anyway, yesterday was Jing Hui's birthday but everyone didn't have time to celebrate with her yesterday and today, we're going for dinner tmr! I hope everything would turn out well, cos I'm so excited! I need to watch what I eat tmr, not too much grilled food or my voice will suffer! I'm singing this Sunday and worship practice is on Saturday..gonna do a duet with Kester again, and the last time I had a part to myself was....uhm..not very good. Maybe I was too nervous but, it still was bad okayyy.

YESS. So I'm praying hard I won't mess up this Sunday! ); Though I'm secretly excited though. Kester's always so encouraging when he's paired wimme. I'm somehow afraid that I'll ruin his reputation though. :/

Ohmannn, and looking at the song that I have to sing, I HAVE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE BTW, I'm so afraid I'll mess up again. );

Till then!

(:

I'm trying to look at things at another angle this year. I'm trying to be happy, like, genuinely happy. Not the "happy in front of my friends" happy.

Sorry for the random picture. Its just, it was cute. (: SOOO, chinese O's were...reasonable. I guess. Went to the long-awaited Seoul Garden for a BBQ/Steamboat after the papers. It was fun and I must admit, the marinated fish was......heavenly. ;P

Been having "Intensive" school sessions for the past week. Well, I suppose all graduating students go through the same routine. We get only 2 weeks for holiday instead of the usual 4. ): And I sort of agree with the "Intensive" cos we've been having art for....everyday. Till 5. So all the d&t students can go home and do whatever they want while the poor art kiddos gotta stay behind, imprisoned in the art room. Seriously, by the time I get back home, I hardly have any energy left in me to do anything else. ):

Just wanna collapse on bed and sleeeeeeep. #lifeofasec4kid no? ):

Okay, uhmm, abrupt ending for now. Wanna go back to fangirling over my boy bands. Gawd, I wanna see The Wanted so badly.

3 Days!

Oooh, 62 page views. O.o Anyone out thereee? Hellooooooooo........? -waves hi-

Meep, its 3 days to O's and I can't wait for it to be Over. (get it? O's, OVER? No....? Oh wells.) We had 4hours of chinese straight today. So I basically just helped to clean the classroom and then off to chinese. Urgh srsly feel so sianjipua looking at all those alien words. Yet I still don't nervous. I just wanna rip the paper so that I will never have to see those words again! But if only life would be so easy. Urgh.

But on the bright side, its nice to know I scored a EMB3 < 11. (: Can't remember if its for prelims or CTs but..its kinda assuring to know that my hardwork has paid off. ^^v

I can't wait for Monday afternoon although I hope I won't be leaving the exam hall in tears! The girls has planned a trip to Seoul Garden for buffet after the paper and I hope I'll be able to join them! Seems like I am hardly there for any group outings this year cos I'm always choosing studies over friends or I'm stuck in bed, sick. Sucks, really. I know that studies should come first and all, but it really sucks to know how much fun your friends are having while you're at home buried in a pile of work. Thanks Twitter. -_-

Went to lunch with the clique and we were talking about what we're doing at home most of the times and I told them how I hardly watch the TV nowadays. Its always bathe > nap > dinner > study > sleep. Practically facing the walls of my study room everyday and the only time I get to watch the TV is during dinner. :/ sad life, I suppose.

Oh well, hope everything is going smoothly for you guys. And on a completely unrelated note, I CAN'T BLOODY WAIT TO GET MY PANTS! Finally I feel so relieved after making payment! Almost had the thought that I was gonna piss them off! Now that the money's been paid, I'm sitting around patiently just waiting to get my hands on my pants. (uhm, its not what you think..)


xx

Countdown!

ITS TUESDAYYY!
Officially 6 more days to the big O's. Nervous anyone? Anyone?? I have 48 people viewing my blog! Its a pathetic number if I was referring to a story I just wrote. But since I hadn't told anyone 'cept GT, erm...I came up with this conclusion: I AM GETTING STALKED!

Nah. Joking. I have nothing to hide anyway. Just came to this space to say Hi. So...hi stalker! *waves*

Oh yeahhh, noobie me itsn't really familiar with orderings online. So I'm currently waiting patiently-or trying to-for le pants! Can't believe I can actually fret over something like this! Oh manzxc, what has studying done to me. :/ ever since this year started, I've been trying to study dilligently everyday! Thus, I no longer have the time to go out to shop and spend time with my friends.

I have not been to a single flea this year, have watched less than 10 movies so far, and didn't even leave the house to shop for my CNY clothings! SOO, I've been relying on online shops to get my clothes and stuff. Yep. This had better be worth it!

For now, this is all I wanna do.

Ascension Sunday:

"Heaven is not UP there, rather, it is OUT there"

Its Ascenion Sunday today! Dr Tan preached today and he said this. Which I found to be really meaningful. So heaven is actually another realm! -inserts shock face- All along I've been one of those people that have believed that heaven was actually UP there and not OUT there. Today's sermon really opened my eyes a tad wider. (:

Had a pretty mundane Sunday. Church > Homed > Tuition > Dinner. Went to Boon Keng/Bendeemeer for dinner and ate at a coffee shop that sold Thai food. Its pretty good! And the prices are cheaper than Nakhon's at Kovan. Soo, pwiddy good deal. <: Would've taken a picture of all the mouth-watering dishes that we had but I had tuition before that so...it wasn't practical of me to do that. Secretly slacking now. I'm letting myself have a break over the weekends before going back to the hectic schedules that the school offers. Urghhhh. Chinese Timed Practice for the whole week! Everyday! Oh wells. Gotta keep telling myself that the school cares.

Anyway, just now, while I was in the car with Momz to tuition, she told me she was worried about the kind of boy I'd bring home. She said that JW's qtpie was the awkward kind. And I might be bringing back the "weird" kind. Told momz that I didn't mind if my boyfriend had weird hair. Its just a phase, anyway. But she said that "weird hair" = complicated background. WHICH I STRONGLY DISAGREE. Wished that momz wasn't so sterotypical. I mean, looks aren't all that right? Whether or not I get a boyfriend with a rainbow coloured mohawk or a boyfriend with absoloutely no hair, its up to me to choose, right? If I happen to fall in love with a bald guy then...maybe it'd save a lot of trouble for US. But if I fall in love with a guy that has a rainbow coloured mohawk then....tounges will wag for sure.

It hurts me to know that momz might not accept the guy I love. And so will everyone else. Kinda sick of sterotypical people. But I guess I'm one too. Either that, or I'm just old-fashioned. *shivers* Maybe I'll never have a boyfriend and my #foreveralone dream comes true. :/ Or maybe I'll only get married at 60+ and I'll be a wrinkly bride. :O So..my sis would prolly have kids and a loving husband and so will all my friends. And I'll either be a wrinkly wife or......single.

Okay, if I'm still single by then, I'll flood my home with cats and I'll sit on a rocking chair knitting sweaters for them wondering what the fuck went wrong in my life.

(:

-waves-

Hi bloggie. (: Been such a long time since  I blogged. Confession: I completely forgot I had a blog until I started reading someone elses's and then I remembered. Budden, I forgot my password so...yeap.

I will just type about yesterday.

It was sports day yesterday! I hope it'll be my last cos I'm seriously dying to leave ZHSS. So I took a few-kay not really. 98-photos of the day! (: It would've been better if the sun hadn't been so bloody hot. And I wasn't having my period! Mega sighhhhh. So cos I didn't take part in any competition, basically lepak-ed around with my camera. It was a really bad day for me though.

Class boys playing soccer. (:

Class girls playing netball. (:

My girls. (; I love them so much. Don't know what I'd do without them.

And...Aloysius photo bombing our clique photo wtf. ~_~

Here's me. Passed out on Evonne's back. )':

So I started off my day really excited cos the girls and I had planned to go to Sentosa after sports day for some fun time + picnic. So I had spent the whole night preparing my chicken salad. Andden, woke up really excited and all. Went to Cheryl's house to drop off my food and walked to NYJC with the rest of the girls. We were sort of late. Then I got my period. Wtf x1000000. Initially it was just normal cramps. Everyone-including me-thought I could still go to the picnic but as the day went on, it just got worse and worse. And to top it off, it was so bloody hot and I felt more and more terrible. So finally, after the entire event was over, once I stepped out of NYJC, I legit collapsed onto Gekting.

So she and Evonne I think. Had to sit me down at the corner until I was okay. But I couldn't walk properly so Evonne had to piggyback me. Then I told her to put me down cos I was partially feeling okay and I didn't wanna break her back. Walked for a little bit and I passed out again. Remembered collapsing on Cheryl Lim.

So Evonne had to carry me again! And then I can't remember how, but I ended up on Eileen's back. I just layed down on Cheryl L's sofa and I think I passed out again. So that was thrice in total. ): Everyone was in panic mode and rushing all over her house trying to cool me down cos Charyl said I was "giving out heat". I think maybe I had a slight heatstroke. Eunice called mummy to pick me so I just slept at Cheryl L's while waiting for her.

SO, IN THE END I DIDN'T GET TO GO TO THE PICNIC. And I can only read everyone's tweets from Sentosa. #badday

On the "bright" side, I spent my whole afternoon watching The Wanted's music videos, #WantedWednesday, My Darkest Days and practically surfed the virtual wave. Ordered my shorts too! I can't wait to get them heehee. Prolly post a picture of it when I get it. (Which I hope is soon!)

Tryna' find a suitable cover for my new story and maybe a nicer sounding title. But I can never get around to it. ): I was kinda moping around the house yesterday. ):

Went to school today for Chinese! Met Charyl, Cheryl L and Eileen for bfast @ Macs. Was trying to move around the house and leave without waking anyone #likeaninja which I THINK was a success cos no one came out of their rooms. So...mission accomplished? (: Came home and had chinese tuition again!

Am I the only one or does anyone feel the same way as me-completely not nervous? Chinese Os are like in 9 days and I'm still alright with it. Anyone? Maybe its just me. :/ But I'm guessing I'm gonna hug Ms Tan Chye-I or Mr Teng just before I go into the exam hall. :/ planning for clique lunch @ Seoul Garden after the paper with my girls!

xoxo

Good Friday

Its been such a long time since i wrote anything. Finally found myself and avenue for my own free writings. -yay- Sometimes all you really need is courage.

Silly me forgot my username & password to my onsugar account so...even if i wanted to go back to blogging, its kinda impossible. Totally lost count of the number of times i've changed my blogs because i was so unhappy. Oh wells, turning 16 this year. -finally- NC16 movies for me soon, no? I'm just trying to take things from a different perspective. Who wouldn't want to go back to childhood days when all you sort of cry over for is your broken crayons?

I don't have any more crayons to cry for. Not that i want to anyway. I know God will guide me thru'. I just need to believe that.

Going out with my beloved owner today. Gonna try to not type anything too depressing since the sky is dark. Its gonna rain. It always rains on Good Fridays. Cos thats when God cried over Jesus's death, am i right?

Still getting used to blogger though i would very much want to ram my head against the wall for forgetting my onsugar account. Now i can't even take it down if i wanted to. Hmph. Ohvells, its never too late to start afresh, right?

-J