Only Human

Y'know that kinda feeling when you're really expecting something and then suddenly the plan changes and you just lose that something that you've been looking forward to? That kind of feeling where you literally feel your heart sink and hit rock bottom and you just wanna find a comfy corner to just suck it all up.

I hate that. I hate anticipating for something and I know that I can't help but to do that sometimes. Like, that kind of disappointment just, pisses the hell out of you. Urgh. I don't know why but I'm feeling this way over something minor. Something really, really tiny. But I guess because I just don't have the time to do the things I like to do anymore, any chance to do something exciting (even if its just a trip to the grocery shop) would really be the highlight of my day. And I dunno, if there were to be a change of plans, I'd just, I dunno, feel really really terrible. #thingsihate

I'm not perfect, I'm no saint, I can be really unreasonable at times. The things that I get angry over might be trivial to you guys. But hey, I'm only human right?

Frankly speaking, if I were to make a list of all the things that I hate, then, its gonna be longer than the Great Wall Of China, for sure. But seriously, I can't stand it when people do this:
"OMGOMGOMG GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOUU!!"
"WHAT WHAT WHAT??"
"Uh...hmm..nothing/y'know what? Nevermind."

Like, #dafuq? Don't make the matter sound so important in the first place when all you're going to do is waste my energy thinking about the many thousand worst-case scenarios! I hate it, seriously. This has to be the top few of #thingsihate. Some people might find it funny but, I DON'T, dammit. Urgh, feeling so pissed right now. Might just go on a verbal rampage on the next person that pushes the wrong buttons. Or some people would just go all "OMG I FOUND OUT SOMETHING SURPRISING!" and then when you ask them what it is, they tell you shit like "Ahhh, nevermind, I'm afraid it'll affect your mood." C'mon, don't be a coward, just tell me straight up to my bloody face.

I mean, c'mon. You make the thing sound so serious and then you just brush it off with a "Oh, nevermind..." statement. Hello, am I supposed to take you seriously ever again?! I'm not acting this way because I'm pissed. Joyous mood or not, I hate it when people do such things to me.

If you didn't take it seriously in the first place, then maybe I never will take you seriously ever again.

Happy Birthday Jing Hui!

Today, I had prolly one of the greatest day so far this week. (: Had some really bad days but today, an outing with all of my girls just made me feel so much better and so much more blessed. (':

Had a mundane morning and met up with the girls at Farrer Park at 5. But I volunteered to get the cake and thus I had to go early. Met up with Cheryl Lim at Serangoon and bounced to and fro from the various bakeries to get the cake. We almost got a durian cake! But in the end we got a pink strawberry cake for the birthday girl although all the other chocolate cakes looked goooood. (;

Before I saw CL, there was this guy walking his dog in Serangoon Central and OHMIGAWD, it was a big fluffy dog! I do mean big, and the fur was like, it made the dog look twice the size! That fluffy! And cos it was so black, I didn't have the chance to see its face. Only the pink tongue sticking out!

Bought the cake, and headed down to FP to meet the girls. Had Astons for dinner. The food was yumz. I had a Hickory BBQ Chicken with fries and salad as side dishes. YUMMZ. After dinner, we started to talk about stupid things. I like tonight. Enough of words, let le pictures do the talking. (;

My dinner- Hickory BBQ Chicken with salad & fries for sides. YUMMZ.

Ze cakee

Birthday girl. (':

<3

Pretty fountain.

Tonight was good. Gonna wake up early tmr for bible studies and worship practice afterwards.

I'm gonna try and be more positive from now.

Untitled

So how's everyone been? I've been having some pretty bad days recently. But I'm trying hard not to let it affect my mood. Seriously hate it when adults practically yell their heads off at you without giving you a chance to explain. And when you tell them, they either think you're talking back, or, just be totally unreasonable. And I hate how sometimes my parents have zero trust in me. What? Like I'm not trustworthy? Like sometimes, you get so angry, you tear up and get your eyes all red and swollen and then you'll feel so sleepy for the rest of the day. Am I the only one feeling this way??

When shit happens, I know I've got these bunch of really lovely people behind me. Just being around them sometimes takes my mind off the things that's really bothering me. And I thank God so much for having these people in my life. They've been such a dear to me.

Anyway, yesterday was Jing Hui's birthday but everyone didn't have time to celebrate with her yesterday and today, we're going for dinner tmr! I hope everything would turn out well, cos I'm so excited! I need to watch what I eat tmr, not too much grilled food or my voice will suffer! I'm singing this Sunday and worship practice is on Saturday..gonna do a duet with Kester again, and the last time I had a part to myself was....uhm..not very good. Maybe I was too nervous but, it still was bad okayyy.

YESS. So I'm praying hard I won't mess up this Sunday! ); Though I'm secretly excited though. Kester's always so encouraging when he's paired wimme. I'm somehow afraid that I'll ruin his reputation though. :/

Ohmannn, and looking at the song that I have to sing, I HAVE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE BTW, I'm so afraid I'll mess up again. );

Till then!

(:

I'm trying to look at things at another angle this year. I'm trying to be happy, like, genuinely happy. Not the "happy in front of my friends" happy.

Sorry for the random picture. Its just, it was cute. (: SOOO, chinese O's were...reasonable. I guess. Went to the long-awaited Seoul Garden for a BBQ/Steamboat after the papers. It was fun and I must admit, the marinated fish was......heavenly. ;P

Been having "Intensive" school sessions for the past week. Well, I suppose all graduating students go through the same routine. We get only 2 weeks for holiday instead of the usual 4. ): And I sort of agree with the "Intensive" cos we've been having art for....everyday. Till 5. So all the d&t students can go home and do whatever they want while the poor art kiddos gotta stay behind, imprisoned in the art room. Seriously, by the time I get back home, I hardly have any energy left in me to do anything else. ):

Just wanna collapse on bed and sleeeeeeep. #lifeofasec4kid no? ):

Okay, uhmm, abrupt ending for now. Wanna go back to fangirling over my boy bands. Gawd, I wanna see The Wanted so badly.

3 Days!

Oooh, 62 page views. O.o Anyone out thereee? Hellooooooooo........? -waves hi-

Meep, its 3 days to O's and I can't wait for it to be Over. (get it? O's, OVER? No....? Oh wells.) We had 4hours of chinese straight today. So I basically just helped to clean the classroom and then off to chinese. Urgh srsly feel so sianjipua looking at all those alien words. Yet I still don't nervous. I just wanna rip the paper so that I will never have to see those words again! But if only life would be so easy. Urgh.

But on the bright side, its nice to know I scored a EMB3 < 11. (: Can't remember if its for prelims or CTs but..its kinda assuring to know that my hardwork has paid off. ^^v

I can't wait for Monday afternoon although I hope I won't be leaving the exam hall in tears! The girls has planned a trip to Seoul Garden for buffet after the paper and I hope I'll be able to join them! Seems like I am hardly there for any group outings this year cos I'm always choosing studies over friends or I'm stuck in bed, sick. Sucks, really. I know that studies should come first and all, but it really sucks to know how much fun your friends are having while you're at home buried in a pile of work. Thanks Twitter. -_-

Went to lunch with the clique and we were talking about what we're doing at home most of the times and I told them how I hardly watch the TV nowadays. Its always bathe > nap > dinner > study > sleep. Practically facing the walls of my study room everyday and the only time I get to watch the TV is during dinner. :/ sad life, I suppose.

Oh well, hope everything is going smoothly for you guys. And on a completely unrelated note, I CAN'T BLOODY WAIT TO GET MY PANTS! Finally I feel so relieved after making payment! Almost had the thought that I was gonna piss them off! Now that the money's been paid, I'm sitting around patiently just waiting to get my hands on my pants. (uhm, its not what you think..)


xx

Countdown!

ITS TUESDAYYY!
Officially 6 more days to the big O's. Nervous anyone? Anyone?? I have 48 people viewing my blog! Its a pathetic number if I was referring to a story I just wrote. But since I hadn't told anyone 'cept GT, erm...I came up with this conclusion: I AM GETTING STALKED!

Nah. Joking. I have nothing to hide anyway. Just came to this space to say Hi. So...hi stalker! *waves*

Oh yeahhh, noobie me itsn't really familiar with orderings online. So I'm currently waiting patiently-or trying to-for le pants! Can't believe I can actually fret over something like this! Oh manzxc, what has studying done to me. :/ ever since this year started, I've been trying to study dilligently everyday! Thus, I no longer have the time to go out to shop and spend time with my friends.

I have not been to a single flea this year, have watched less than 10 movies so far, and didn't even leave the house to shop for my CNY clothings! SOO, I've been relying on online shops to get my clothes and stuff. Yep. This had better be worth it!

For now, this is all I wanna do.

Ascension Sunday:

"Heaven is not UP there, rather, it is OUT there"

Its Ascenion Sunday today! Dr Tan preached today and he said this. Which I found to be really meaningful. So heaven is actually another realm! -inserts shock face- All along I've been one of those people that have believed that heaven was actually UP there and not OUT there. Today's sermon really opened my eyes a tad wider. (:

Had a pretty mundane Sunday. Church > Homed > Tuition > Dinner. Went to Boon Keng/Bendeemeer for dinner and ate at a coffee shop that sold Thai food. Its pretty good! And the prices are cheaper than Nakhon's at Kovan. Soo, pwiddy good deal. <: Would've taken a picture of all the mouth-watering dishes that we had but I had tuition before that so...it wasn't practical of me to do that. Secretly slacking now. I'm letting myself have a break over the weekends before going back to the hectic schedules that the school offers. Urghhhh. Chinese Timed Practice for the whole week! Everyday! Oh wells. Gotta keep telling myself that the school cares.

Anyway, just now, while I was in the car with Momz to tuition, she told me she was worried about the kind of boy I'd bring home. She said that JW's qtpie was the awkward kind. And I might be bringing back the "weird" kind. Told momz that I didn't mind if my boyfriend had weird hair. Its just a phase, anyway. But she said that "weird hair" = complicated background. WHICH I STRONGLY DISAGREE. Wished that momz wasn't so sterotypical. I mean, looks aren't all that right? Whether or not I get a boyfriend with a rainbow coloured mohawk or a boyfriend with absoloutely no hair, its up to me to choose, right? If I happen to fall in love with a bald guy then...maybe it'd save a lot of trouble for US. But if I fall in love with a guy that has a rainbow coloured mohawk then....tounges will wag for sure.

It hurts me to know that momz might not accept the guy I love. And so will everyone else. Kinda sick of sterotypical people. But I guess I'm one too. Either that, or I'm just old-fashioned. *shivers* Maybe I'll never have a boyfriend and my #foreveralone dream comes true. :/ Or maybe I'll only get married at 60+ and I'll be a wrinkly bride. :O So..my sis would prolly have kids and a loving husband and so will all my friends. And I'll either be a wrinkly wife or......single.

Okay, if I'm still single by then, I'll flood my home with cats and I'll sit on a rocking chair knitting sweaters for them wondering what the fuck went wrong in my life.

(: