"I'll bleed out for you"

Hey dear blog, so guess what? I've met my classmates for this year already! Yeap, had orientation camp on monday & tuesday. Oh my, the camp itself wasn't so fun. But i had really nice ogls and my form teacher is crazy. Which is good. And my classmates are one helluva spammers on whatsapp. I used to think that roa was cray having almost 200+ spammed msgs but PF1322 is....1000+ msgs. Boy
 oh boy.

Anw, I'm hoping i'll feel happy with my class. Although it felt really different on the first day of orientation. No clique, no familiar faces. It was intimidating. But i made a couple of friends on the first day and by lunch time on the 2nd day, i was already laughing my ass off. But no matter how much fun i had, i'll always miss 4N. I mean, because zhss only had 1 NA class, i never felt the need to make new friends because my friends were always sitting a couple of seats away from me in the same classroom. But now, poly is so different. Every year i'm going to have a change of class. And turth be told, i already feel the inferiority complex kicking in. How can it not? I looked around me on the first day and saw firstly how better looking everyone else was. Secondly, i noticed how some girls in my class already were so comfortable with everyone else. And then the sickening, paranoid, insecure side of me decides to pop out. "What if i'll always be the outcast one? What if i'll never have my own clique of friends?" And at that point, i started to think if bull dozing into this pfp programme was the right choice for me.

Not everyone was supportive of me diving into this programme (and i also heard many close friends saying how bad nyp is.....c'mon, spare some thought for this poor dudette here guys....gonna spend my next 4 years in nyp. At least tell me something positive!!!). After all, we are the 1st batch...but i know it was too late to turn back. Nothing left to do except take a deeeep breath and charge forward.

I hope this "other" side of me doesn't ruin the next 4 years of my life!