Really thankful i found that quote in my previous post. I am constantly reminding myself that this year, i'm going to turn 19 and it's time to act like a proper adult. Or at least start learning how to behave like one.
But recently, i found out just how manipulated i have let myself become. I tried guarding myself against people outside of my little circle of comfort but it breaks my heart to find out that the pain comes from inside my circle. Absolutely gutted that things have come to this state. But i guess it's always better to cure the wound ASAP before it festers right? No matter how much it hurts in the beginning?
Today, i asked myself what should i do. And i came up with this: Heart or brain, whichever is right. The heart definitely stores memories that i wish to keep. But the brain states facts and as hurtful as it may seem, facts are facts.
I came to the conclusion that i should follow my morals and principles. And of course, follow in the footsteps of Christ. But i am also very disgusted and tired of how i am being treated. I want to stand up for myself yet i fear that i may once again lose everything and everyone.
I am going to base my solution on my morals and my principles. And of course, God. I love my friends and i want to help them become better people.
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