Asyura's 18th, Ms Nat's farewell + School Life

Hey

Our dear daisy turned 18 on 28 May and we all pretended to not give a shit about her birthday. Morris and i actually got her her favourite perfume from Viva La Juicy. And of course we shared it among the jags. We also decided to prank her by replacing the bottle in the box with stones from my dad's fish tank! Also, Morris and i had make up lesson on that day so we pretended to tell her we didn't have time to celebrate it with her. But we popped up in her class when our lessons ended and needless to say, she was so surprised with the cake!

She teared when she saw the present. That was before she opened it and realised they were rocks.

We all look so happy here aww

Happy daisy with her cake + Shariffah's lying on the table. (Before receiving our present to her and before she got all teary)

Happy 18th my daisy!! Hoped you laughed your ass off at my card.

Iris stealing the spotlight for once.

So recently, there's been a sudden influx of tests coming my way so i've been rather occupied by it. Not complaining though. I am liking what i do. Okay except filming. I rather be behind the camera than in front but if given a choice, i don't wanna be near it at all.

So last thursday we had our filming test and filmed our talent which was Megan's friend! 

Mm, awkward legs.

Oh yknow... just trying to look all professional.

I look so short. :(

 After our filming test, i had my informative speech test! Which i would like to say i'm happy to get it over and done with! Even though i'm not really happy about the fact that i overran my speech by 15 seconds. :( But the maximum number of marks i'd get deducted is 2 so oh well.

And then today, it was Ms Nat's last day in NYP. :( so we all gave her a surprise! I like giving people surprises. Firstly, haresh said that he needed to "interview" her for his assignment and the only available room he found was B512. Which was the room we had her lessons in for the entire PFP year. It held so many memories.... and we all gathered there straight after our lessons (except Iris. Iris sneaked out of class.) to write her cards and wait for her.

When she came in, we pretended it was last year again! Kerwin asking Ms Nat which book we'd be using. Like every other Tuesday 4-6pm lessons.

Then one by one we came up to her and stuck our cards on the big board that Kerwin did.

B512 is a special classroom because our 4-6pm lessons with her were the most eventful. Rachael fell off the chair, the visualiser screen suddenly rolling up by itself when Ms Nat was done telling us a ghost story (happened to rain heavily that 2 weeks though. How apt.) and the lights in the classroom across us flickering on and off scaring Morris to tears. Some guy actually went in lah but obviously no one saw. And Ms Nat had to tell him not to flick the switch because we were scared shitless.

And of course Ms Nat starting 8am class half an hour later and releasing us earlier too. Sneakily of course. And haresh and his wrecking ball skit.

Thank you so much for the memories Ms Nat!! If you ever find a teaching job again, i hope that your new students will be half as fun as we were! Don't forget us okay! You are such a great teacher and school will never be the same. PF1322 is the best PFP class and it's not going to be the same without you. :(

I wish you all the best Ms Nat!

Okay that's about it. Oh yeah i have a dayre too. But its apparently not that good because i can only type 500 characters per entry. :/ gonna stick to blogger when it comes to talking about events and occasions.

Till next time!

Sometimes i let myself get beaten down by the thoughts and words of others. I have always seen myself as someone that does not bother about what people think of me, what they talk about me, what they see me to be.

Gone are the days that a simple sentence from someone would bring me back to grazing my arms with metal blades.

Or so i thought.

I have always seen myself to be a person that has no insecurities. Or even if i did, i was okay with it and didn't see the need to hide them or to feel afraid of them. I used to think that my insecurities were just there to ruin my days. And never would i let it.

I used to think that if someone really liked me, they will make an effort to come and talk to me.

I used to be able to leave the house without checking the mirror and fretting over my looks. I used to leave the house with whatever clothing i could find for myself and didn't worry about if they matched.

I used to see myself as an average looking person. Not too pretty but not too ugly.

I used to be the best in english in class. I used to take pride in my work.

In the past, i didn't care about reading through my essays 1000 times.

3 years ago i was writing when i had nothing to do.

3 years ago i would post my works online and people would read it.


Is growing up supposed to amplify all my fears and insecurities? Is growing up supposed to make me feel lousy about myself? 3 years later and i have become such a changed person.

Now i let my insecurities affect me. I feel bad, ugly and dysfunctional.

I don't write anymore because i'm afraid that nobody would read it. I don't write anymore because i rather rot my brain in front of Supernatural than to work out some paragraphs.

Where did i go to?